Sunday, December 26, 2010

Children Cry In Public

Hey hey ... feel shame and angry when your child cry in public ???  I think most of the parents had this experience ... me either.  Have you ever think is our problem or you just said is your children problem ??  hahaha .... actually is parents problem.

Have you ever see a children sitting quietly on his/her high chair, even though his/her parents still having their meal ? or mostly you will heard crying or shouting, right ??

I had a friend sharing her teaching technique to me:  When your baby know how to sit properly, then is a time to train him/her.

Long long time ago, I was having dinner with family (that time my son was around 1 year old).  He is playing his toys and all adults having dinner.  Suddenly, he feel bored and try to get attention from everyone by knocking the table.  Then, as a mother, I have to stop him.  First time, talked to him softly: "you cannot knocked the table, you have to behave".  The of course, I didn't expect he 100% understood what I'm trying to tell him.  Few times later, I use to warn him if he continue knocking, I'll take your toy away.

He cry when I "scolded" him, and his grand-pa & grand-ma saw it.  I understand they will feel why I'm so "serious" to a young baby ... I can notice from all their eyes are complaining me.  His uncle ... try to "save" him from me, he want to bring him a walk, but I refused.  Let him cry till he stop ... don't bring him away and don't keep on look at him or try to compliment him also.  I know is a hard time for me to explain, but I know what is good for my child.

Honestly, I can't 100% stop them by taking him a short walk after they are full.  So, young children will have a mind-set that "I will be carry by them to go everywhere once they finish eating" ... this kind of mind-set bring trouble to parents.  Whenever they finish eating, they start to cry, and don't want to sit. They simply want a walk .... if that time, parents still having their meal, children start crying or shouting for a "walk", then here come the "hero" save them - bring them a walk.  How about the "Hero" still eating ??  I tell you, no one will care for that, but ask you - as parents to bring him/her away.  Back to earlier, who is the person try to make this kind of bad habit to a child ??

How many time you attend a dinner and sure you will see a group of children running around there ??  Out of 10 children, 9 are running around and only 1 will sit with their parents ... am I right ??  "Aiya .... never mind la, let them have fun" .... you will heard this kind of sentences.

My friend told me, if you don't want your child become 1 of that group, try to guide them well.  Teach them whenever parents are eating, "you have to sit together with parents even though you had finish your meal.  Have some tip-bites or toys to spend your "extra" time while waiting your parents finish".

Whenever he/she cry for "help", try to comfort and explain to them the situation. "Mommy or Daddy still eating, you can't go anywhere without parents around you".  Some adult may bring them away and told you I will take care of him/her.  Honestly, who will 100% take care our children while they're also having fun with their friends ??  People will only said: Why don't listen to your parents ? in case, if there is any accident happened.  Am I right ??

When my son was 2 years old, and I brought him to a shopping complex.  I promised him to let him play a basketball game after we taking breakfast.  But he was so naughty and cry for game, he refuse to have his breakfast.  He keep on crying till everyone turn they head to our direction.  I explained to him, I will only let you go after meal. If you still want to cry, fine, go on to cry.  After I finish my breakfast, then straight away go home.  No more game for you this time.  I don't care how others look or think at me ... I also heard they said "so pity o".  Me and my husband pretend like nothing and continue our meal till finish.  As I said earlier, we go home straight away after meal.

My son finally know his crying technique didn't work for that, and from there, he don't dare to "challenge" me or my husband simply for his favourite.  Well, we will inform him where we will go and what to do before go out.  We promised will bring him to theme park if he is well behaved.  If not, just go home.

Let them cry for unreasonable request, don't keep on compliment them while they're crying.  They will thought you scare of them and will repeat the same next time, if you don't give what they want.  Children are very smart, they know how to "control" the adults.  If you ignore them, they will cry.  Yes, let them cry till they stop themselves.  I saw some parents out there actually doing the same to their children.  The children stop to cry when he notice his parents "ignore" him, he simply feel "no point" for crying.  Then he walked to his parents  there and played with them .... hahaha ... just like nothing happened.  Do you got this ??  You know how smart are they now ??  I believe if you keep on saying: don't cry, baby ... he will sure turn up his volume till he got what he want.

I, myself still on learning and applying this kind of teaching to my son.  Sometimes, he really doing a good job.  If we bring him to any function or dinner - if without any "hero", he will stay at his place along the night.  If got the "hero" then my son will go away.  But luckily, he know that "crying" is not work to me and his father.  He will only ask for permission before leaving.

So, don't bring your baby go whenever he/she start crying for nothing.  Try to comfort her.  I know is hard, especially when other people around you offer to bring her away.  But, is true, that is wrong.  You are making a bad habit to a baby.  Whenever he/she cry, someone will compliment them.  If not, turn up the volume, then sure they will get what their want.  Is this what you want from your children ??

Don't blame a young children like to cry when they didn't get what their want .... just think back, who let them got this kind of mind-set ??  As a parents, really need to guide them well.  You have to let your own family member know that "I'm on teaching my children, and it's not a punishment to my children"

Will you feel shame if your children cry in the public ??  You don't have to, as you are actually on teaching them - crying will not means for everything.  Me ... of course, keep on going to guide my children !!

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