生男 ？ 生女 ？ 你怎样看 ？

我忽然间，脑海里出现这个话题 ~ 生男 ？ 生女 ？ 你怎样看 ？哪一个比较重要 ？

我是两个孩子的妈妈。我有一男一女，刚刚好！我不是要“夸”自己，真实来说，两个孩子都是我的宝贝。我从一开始怀孕，我的脑海里，心里都是想着同一个信念 ~ 我希望我可以平平安安 ，顺顺利利，生下一个健康的宝宝。

在我的身边，有好多朋友都说我很会生，有一男一女。他们会问到底有什么方法或秘诀，因为他们很注重性别的问题。有些做了妈妈的朋友就会问同样的问题，第一胎生了男或女，第二就想尽方法要生一对。很抱歉，我真的不知道。

其实，为什么要那么在意呢？始终都是自己的骨肉。

每当身边的朋友诉说怀孕的事情，我都会心寒。有一些孕妇不是那么好运气，听到很多不好事情，小产，不健康，宫外孕，血糖过高，贫血，胎位不正等等问题。如果可以平平安安 ，顺顺利利，生下一个健康的宝宝，已经是很好的福气了。


每当朋友问到我要如何生男或生女时，我都会答：顺其自然。不要太过于强求。

在我怀孕的时候，我每天都祈祷，我只要平安顺利，孩子健康就好。我也会担心宝宝在肚子里面怎样了？每次去复诊后，心里都会安一点。到最后那3个月，会开始怕，怕宝宝在里面会发生不好的东西。但是，我每天都告诉自己，要乐观，要和宝宝讲话，就这样，我从担心变成期待。

当宝宝平安出世，我第一时间就和宝宝说：我是你的妈妈，宝贝。

小宝宝平安出世，真的，已经是最大的福气，要感恩了！

About Myself (1)

I was born in a small town call 'Membakut'.  I am the youngest in my family where I have 4 brothers and a sister, of course my parents also.

I study at the local primary school till UPSR.  I remember when I was young, I think I am around 9 or 1 years old, I almost die in a lake.  Thanks God, someone save my life.  If not, I never had a chance to live until now.

In Primary 4, I started to follow competition like story telling contest, speech contest and singing contest.  I like dancing and I almost participate everytime.  I am kinda a "famous person" in the school.  In Primary 5, I won a champion in speech contest for the whole Beaufort area, then I have a chance to go for State contest.  Although I lose in State contest but its really help me to get a lot of experience.  

In Primary 6, yes, I join the speech contest again and again I won the 2nd runner up and again have a chance to enter in State Contest.  However, I lose again in State Contest.

I also got the chance to enter singing contest in Sandakan where met with all contestant from all around Sabah. Hahaha ... of course I didn't get Top 5 place but is enough for me to earn an experience in my life.

Well, after completed my Primary education, my parents let me go to KK to strengthen my education base.  I have enter to SM Stella Maris Secondary School.  In the first semester, I totally can't believe myself as I only manage to score no 20+ in a class.  My sister was so angry to me and of course I also feel sad on my exam result.  From there I totally understand that my education base was far behind from others.  May be this is the difference of small town education and KK education standard.

For the 2nd semester, I started to study harder and of course I got improvement but still not in top 10.

But I am consider ok as I was been placed to Form 1 A class.  I told my family that I am in the Top class and will study hard to get the best result.

Actually I am not a very clever student and what I can do is maintain my result and still able to stay in Top class until Form 3.  And, I am very active in sports also.  I learn how to swim, play basketball etc .. Feel that I am not a girl course I am a bit "boy" style. haha

I scored 7 B in my PMR exam and I have choose to study in Commerce.  For the last 2 years in Secondary school, I feel glad and I manage to score Grade II in final exam - SPM.

After SPM, I go to search for further information on abroad study, and the place I wish to go is Japan.  I got a lot of info on that.  I like Japan and feel really want to learn Japansese.  I found a teacher that give me private tuition on learning Japanese language.  

At the same time, I took a Computer Study course at Informatics Institute.  Actually I don't know what to study at that time, and my eldest brother advice me to take computer course.  I feel happy to learn it but only I don't like Computer programming.  I failed some of the exam and lucky I passed when I re-sit.

During that time, I on trying to get a job.  I notice there are so many Offshore Banks in Labuan, including Japanese Offshore Banks.  I get some info from my classmate, whereby some of them come from Labuan.  I try to apply the job and finally I got my 1st job in The Industrial Bank of Japan, Ltd., Labuan Branch.

I met my boyfriend through my classmate.  When I work in Labuan, he also the same.  His relatives are local Labuan.  I was staying in my classmate house in Labuan but soon I moved out to stay with my colleague who from KK also.  

May be I am still young, I always quarrel with my boyfriend or even break up with him several times.  But one thing I have to admit that I am very stupid girl that believe him.  End up, he is my first man in my life and from there I take him as so called "husband".

After one year with him, there is one day I got so called 6 sense where I notice a difference from him.  I straight away asked him is it he got another girl friend ?  I still can remember his face reaction was so surprised.  He asked me back how I know ... ya, I knew it.  I cried and feel very very very sad.  We broke up and he go back to KK.  I feel so lonely as I don't have many friends beside me at that moment.

I am a most stupid girl that have been cheated. 

I just don't know why I still accept him back ?  May be at that time, I really in love with him.  Nut thinking back, I feel that I am really really big stupid girl.  Why I just let it go and my life will be different from now.

5 years in Labuan, means 5 years with him.  Then I choose to come back KK as my parents getting old.  I started to look for a job in KK.  Unfortunately, the pay ...wow, is quite low compare to what I earn in Labuan.  Lucky I stay in my parents house, so I still can survive. 

He also come back to KK and looking for a job in KK.  I was working in a Insurance Company and I asked him whether he want to try to work with me or not.  He was accepted by my Branch Manager and from there we work for about 3 years.  One thing I admit that he is a clever person, my Branch Manager like him a lot.

Then I change job to Bank, where we decided to get married.  My worst job in my life !  Working hours is long and he always complaint me on that.  He always said he need to wait so long time outside the Bank.  Ask me to finish faster and so on.  I can't take that pressure so I change job.  Still the same ... my Branch Manager required me to arrive office at least 20 minutes early and go back late.  Again, I have been scolded by him because of that.  Let's said my working hours id 9 to 5, my boss want to reach office by 8:45 and go back around 5:30.  But of course not every day like that, only certain day.  But for him, even I late for 10 minutes, he scolded me already.

One thing makes me so upset is he asked me go to body check as no baby after few months married.  My in law also the same, keep pressure me on this matter.  My sister told me not to worry, just relax and don''t pressure myself too much.  But I don't have a good husband, from what he said is I am the "problem".

I remember got 1 day when I went to Hypermarket with him. Suddenly I was fainted and admitted into hospital.  I am too weak and too pressure.  

~~ To be continue ~~

   

Outdoor activities for children

Last Sunday I decided to bring my children to playground.

We went there around 4:30pm, my 2 cuties very excited upon arrival. Both keep on saying "playground" inside the car.  I know both were very excited. :)

As normal, I talked to both : Don't go far away without permission from mama & papa. Ko Ko (brother) must take care of your mei mei (sister) ~ where I know is hard to him. 

My boy holding his papa's hand and walking very fast to playground. Me and my girl at the back, and my girl is waving to her brother ask to wait. hahaha

We let them play ~ a totally free play but of course me & my husband always keep on eyes to both.  Watching them play the slides, swing, merry-go-round etc ... After play for a while, my husband suggested we all go for a walk.  Then both also agreed and start their "jogging" on the track. hahaha ... my boy ran quite fast with his papa.  My girl and me walking at the back, not jogging.  My girl was feeling tired already.  We all walked for 2 rounds before taking a rest.  I can see both were having so much fun on it.

After the jogging or just "walking" to me & my girl, we take a rest at the nearby cafe.  The I change both shirt due to sweat, both just like coming out from bathroom ~ from hair to toe ~ all wet.

After a rest, we going home for dinner.  On the way back, my kids were still in excited mode, and told me both are actually very happy to go to playground. I will sure bring them go again & again, since is good for them too. 

Working mama

11 May 2012

Sometimes I really feel tired when back to home from works.

At office, so many pressure on works. At home, pressure from kids.  OK, I admit sometimes I feel happy when I hug my kids. But the only thing that when I need a short rest, may be just less than 30 minutes, why I can't have it ?

May be I'm too stressed.  I feel angry when they did not listen to my words.  I feel like crying.  How come the man in my house never think of that ?  How come he can go out and take a break, come back home late, and never think of us at home ?  Even he at home also, never lend a hand !

I'm tired ....................................................

I rather he go out everyday and better don't come back home.  We seldom chat nowadays, except about children things.

Tired at office ....... Tired at home ...... Tired at all ......... :(

If I can choose, wish to go back ~ to the time I never met him !

Drawing on the Wall

I saw my little girl run to bedroom with a book and a pencil. I told her cannot write on the bed, and she replied me: "ok"  ** my little girl is 2 years old.

Then I heard my boy and girl were laughing and keep saying ABC. At first I thought both were learning ABCs and suddenly I heard my boy screamed to me. "Mommy, mei mei (sister) drawing on the wall !"

I stood up and walked to the bedroom and I saw she holding a pencil and is drawing a big cycle on the wall.  I looked at her, she looked at me with a cute smiling face.

"Who ask you to draw on wall ?" ... she didn't said anything but she know that she done something wrong.

"Ko Ko, why you didn't stop mei mei when you see her starting to draw on the wall ?" ... He keep quite. 

Actually I didn't blame him but I just want to make him know his role as a brother. He did 50% right by calling me and he is 50% wrong as he didn't stop her from that.

"OK, since you draw it. Here, is the rubber. Now I want you to clean off all your drawing. If you can't clean all, no milk for you tonight."

At first, she was so excited to clean and after 3 minutes, she started to feel bored and want to go away. I was holding a "rotan" in front of her.

"Mommy will not going to "rotan" you if you clean all your drawing."  I told her.

She looked at me with her innocent face and start to look for "help"

Well, since she is only 2, and already clean off almost half of her drawing. I pretend I didn't see/hear it. Her brother was come to 'rescue' her. And I walked away to prepare their milk.

I came back and I saw their daddy on cleaning the last part. He asked both : "Do you still want too draw on wall ?" Both answered : "No, sorry papa sorry mommy."  

I told both : "the wall is not for drawing purpose, you may draw on a paper or drawing book but no wall, understand ?"

Both answered : "ok, mommy!"

That day onwards, both never draw on the wall ...  hahaha ... cheers !!

31032012 ~ My feeling to both cuties tonight :)

ok, i'm looking to my both sleeping manja here ... I notice both grown up very fast ! the legs so long already ! Time really flies ~

I feel so warm when I see both sleep or play together, both have their own "bantal busuk", holding each other hands while walking, etc... hahaha. But, sometimes (or most of the time) both like to gaduh / rebut & complaint on each other. Honestly, sometime I do feel a bit fussy with the complaints. :p

I can see even though both sometimes will turn to enemy, but still can feel both actually very care to each other. When I ask to my DS (5 y/o) : Mei Mei so naughty, you both like to fight for everything. Then let mei mei stay with po po (babysitter).

After I finish my words, my DS cry and ask me bring mei mei home. He don't like her because she will rebut his toys, but he love her because she is his only sister.

Whenever I give them eat any food, mei mei will take 1st then she will said need 2nd pcs for ko ko. I said mama will give ko ko, but she refused. She want to give her ko ko by herself.

I'm just loving both of them ~ This is my feeling while I looking to both of them now ... in sleeping mode ! :)

31.03.2012 ~ 10:00pm